Notes from Love Rehab

Home no longer feels like it’s a person. It no longer feels like a destination. A place. A building with four walls that you put plants in, add furniture and paint the walls. It is a state of being…within oneself—fore if we have the entire universe within our very cells, then we are already home. There is nowhere to “go” but from doorway to doorway until we get to that golden one—as we move from lesson to lesson and grow in mistakes and wisdom. I am Laurel, Canadian-Irish girl who came into this world looking for her love story only to have found it again and again in all different places and ways. Fore to her, everything is a love story. Her greatest love story to date has been the one with her two horses, Rosie and Flo, who passed away last year. Her most rewarding love story has been the one with herself, and learning how to love all the parts of her—and as her feet step up to that golden doorway...you know, the one that marks a shift from old self to new, she knows its a point of no return. Laurel hopes there will be a great love that matches her and walks in step alongside before she crosses that threshold. Matches her in playfulness, strength, passion and loyalty. But, maybe he is on the other side waiting, and she must trust he is there. Maybe he will follow her just behind and catch-up. All she knows is she must walk through the door no matter what. She must be able to carry the same amount of joy within her heart whether "he" is there or not. Fore, that is the test of a romantic girl. One must be completely complete on their own before romantic love can really explode into your life. The irony of love only being able to stay when it comes freely has sometimes eluded Laurel. But, isn't is romantic to think of two people going about their lives without ties, and then one day they choose to braid their stories together. Not to be tied, but because both want to stay in each other's orbit. Love seems best when it can breathe and be. When you can continue on loving the world and everything in it even when that love isn't there. Your love story is something you create in everythign you do. It's an endless conversation and exchange with the universe. And wherever you are, you are home. Home was never in a "him". Home was never lost. Yes, at times it could not be felt and found when Laurel disconnected from herself—however, home was only ever a breath away. And so is a love story. Stay open.

Laurel